My Personal Insights:
Recently, I had the opportunity to visit the National Parks of Zion and Bryce. I absolutely marveled at the majestic sites that Mother Nature has provided. In order to get to these spots in Utah, we had to fly in and out of Las Vegas. On the return trip we had the opportunity to see a favorite of ours, Bette Midler. So which was more fun and more enjoyable? Which would you like more? I guess that all depends on you're perception since clearly they were each quite a different experience.
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Perceptions Determine your Experiences
During our stay in Utah, we were fortunate to have the advice of one of the hotel employees who was an avid hiker. She was able to really give us detailed information about the Parks and trails within. Feeling well-prepared, we took off for the day. There was one hike which she indicated was easy; however, I felt it was more challenging and was quite thankful to reach the end; it did offer some spectacular views.
Though initially I got upset with the advice we were given, it got me thinking that clearly everyone's perception is different. And - these variations are the cause of so many difficulties in a relationship. You so often forget that each of you is different coming from two different backgrounds. Chances are likely that you will not view the world similarly. Since perceptions will set the stage for actions, it's no wonder that you will also behave differently from each other.
Is one of you right and the other wrong? No! But when you are involved as a couple or in a close relationship, you often forget this. You tend to think that if you are close to someone, he or she will act and think like you. What is really needed is an awareness and appreciation of your variations. As a matter of fact, these differences can actually allow each of you to grow individually and as a couple.
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Choice Tips:
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- Accept that your mate/friend/family member is a unique and different person than you are.
- When you become aware of a difference, consider inquiring about the other person's experience. This will afford you the possibility to learning something from a new perspective.
- When someone is expressing something that is not aligned with the way you see it, refrain from becoming upset or accusatory. This merely demonstrates intolerance on your part. It's okay for people to have varying perceptions. This goes along with the old adage, "Agree to disagree."
- If you perceive a shortcoming in someone else, be tolerant of it. After all, everyone has shortcomings -- even you.
- Know that perceptions do change. This is especially true in relationships. The very same person who you loved and adored in the "honeymoon phase" can really get under your skin later on. But, then, with skills and open hearts the same positive perceptions can return.
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Empowering Tools and Information:
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First, a quick thank you to those of you who took the time to write in about areas you'd like me to address based on my request in the last newsletter. Some of the requests also required personal attention. I will get to you! This has been a very challenging past month - unfortunately not with lots of pleasant activities. Know that I have not forgotten you and will respond shortly.
In Choice Tip # 5 above, I indicated that perceptions of one another can change and those wonderful feelings you had in the beginning of your relationship can be yours again. So often, life gets in the way and you tend to put your relationship on a back burner. The result is that you're in a stalemate with a stale mate. But it can change!
Interested in knowing how?
Check out my book, Marriage Magic! Find It, Keep It, and Make It Last |
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