My Personal Insights:
First, let me wish you all a very Happy and Healthy
New Year! In just a couple of days, it will be 2009. By
the time you receive this newsletter, I will be in
Australia visiting with my daughter who is working
there for a while. I can't wait to see her though it will
seem odd to not do the customary rituals I have done
for years with friends around this time of year. I guess
change is both exciting and anxiety ridden - I'm sure
you can relate. In this newsletter, I'd like to offer a
variety of tips about change.
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Embracing Change
I'm fairly certain that many of us are hoping that this
year will truly be the start of change as was promised
by the new administration. Of course, on a much
smaller scale I think most of you look to this time of
year as the opportunity to make changes, start new
resolutions, and/or alter unhealthy or poor choices
you've made. And, if in fact, the New Year does create
the right atmosphere for you, then that's wonderful.
However, what you also can remember is that each
day when you awaken, it's a brand new day that
affords you the same opportunity. The truth is that at
any given moment, you each have the ability to change
how you behave, how you react. If you think about it
that's real power. Yet, so many of you don't take the
opportunity to make changes; when you don't, at least
you stay in your comfort zone. But when you keep
doing things the old way, it likely doesn't get you what
you want. Decide to make 2009 your most powerful
year yet!
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Choice Tips:
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- One of the definitions of insanity is to do the same
thing over and over again and expect a different
outcome.
- You cannot change a situation or someone else.
The only one you can change is yourself.
- When you get involved with someone, the traits
you see in that person are their traits. Do not go into a
relationship thinking you will change the person as
was said in tip #1. The trait is only likely to be
exhibited more as the person becomes more
comfortable with you.
- If you want to make a change in your behavior
don't set lofty goals. Rather, set small, manageable
ones and reinforce yourself as you achieve them.
Expect to have a "slip" and don't give up just because
you do (that's all-or-nothing thinking). Change does
not take place as a constant uphill process; instead
think of it as an upward spiral. A new habit takes 21
days to be set.
- Know that you can change aspects of yourself --
but it does take work. On the other hand, it's very
important to accept yourself for who you are. Here's a
great quote I just read from Carrie Fisher in response
to the turning point in her life: "I haven't ever changed
who I am. I've just gotten more accepting of it. Being
happy isn't getting what you want, it's wanting what you
have. I've been working towards that goal. It just works
better that way."
- Regarding marriage: For most marriages, merely
changing the partner isn't going to make things
better. What you need to change is to learn how to
make your marriage work through the skills of
attachment needs, conflict resolution, mutual respect,
and learning to let things go.
- Change or novelty in your relationship is good!
One of the downfalls of a long-term relationship is that
it gets stale. When you do things differently, you bring
back the spice.
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Additional Resources I Recommend:
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Colby, A. Body Redesign - Goal-Setting Secrets for
a Thinner, Happier You. Brown Books Publishing
Group, 2008
This is just a nice piece from Andy Rooney. He offers
an enlightened perspective that I think we can all
appreciate at this time of year:
Click here to watch!
A "gift" for you to enjoy!
Click Here for your Gift
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Empowering Tools and Information:
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Has your partnership become hum-drum? Do you
still love your partner but don't know how to change
the relationship from being so stale? To help revitalize
your long-term relationship, regardless of whether
you're married or not, learn some great tips from my
book that I co-authored with Dale Klein. Check out
Marriage Magic! Find It, Keep It, and Make It
Last.
Learn more about it.
I truly believe that many of you don't make changes
because you are stuck in old patterns from your past.
But you deserve to have the life you deserve and you
can! There are tools to you can learn to change those
old knee-jerk reactions so that you can make the
choices you want. Find out how in my book,
Mindfulness and The Art of Choice: Transform Your
Life.
If you haven't read about it,
check it out !
And, if you want to have the opportunity to pick up
tips for making changes in lots of different areas, I've
got the solution for you there too. Take a look at
101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life, Vol. 2
(there's a chapter on stress relief by yours truly).
Learn more about this book here.
I recently did an interview on TM Talks, WTAN AM1340,
in Florida. If you'd like to listen to it,
go to this link. And please note, my interview
begins 15 minutes into the program.
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