Marriage and Relationship Counseling Advice

In today’s post, I want to address the subject of help. Yes, hopefully, all my posts are about help; but this one specifically is about offering you help about getting help. After all, when you need assistance emotionally, it’s unlikely that you’re clear thinking.

The other general point I want to make is that there’s a general assumption that most people have that those of us who are trained in the field of therapy are objective, qualified, and able to respond to various needs. Sadly, this isn’t always the case.

Let me address where some possible glitches can arise:

1. Many people, rightfully, want to use their insurance to pay for mental health benefits. Unfortunately, many of us who are experienced are out-of-network providers. Though, clearly there are some very good therapists who are just starting out, many who take insurance lack experience and join insurance networks to build a practice. Also, insurance companies do not pay for marital therapy.
2. When you go to see a therapist, you “present” your problem. On the surface, it may seem like it’s within the area of expertise of the clinician. Ethically, a therapist isn’t supposed to deal with those issues that are outside their training. However, sometimes, as therapy goes on, unforeseen issues arise that the therapist is not equipped to handle. At that point, a referral should be made; but it’s hard to leave the person with whom you’ve developed an alliance to.
3. Therapists are human and, therefore, fallible. A couple of years ago, the Psychotherapy Networker reported that researchers at the California School of Professional Psychology surveyed 223 therapists and found that when presented with 21 myths about marriage, they believed seven of them.

Additionally, be aware there are a number of different types of therapies available. All of this can be quite overwhelming!

But here’s some good news: When studies have been done regarding the effectiveness of therapy, the one variable that seems to make a difference is the relationship between you and the therapist.

That being said, I strongly believe that to assist yourself, it’s wise to be a good consumer. Remember, you’re seeking help at a time when you are emotionally vulnerable. So, anyone in the field will be, at the very least, warm and open to listening to you. This can be very seductive to continue setting up more appointments. And once you start this process, it is hard to leave, even if you’re not getting all you need.

Since I feel so strongly about this issue, I put together an article to educate people on what to look for when finding a marriage counselor. It gives you an overview of the main points to look for that will help you decide on the right person for you. Here’s the link:
There are lots of sites available on the internet that offers listings of therapists. Beware because many of them merely allow therapists to list their practice by paying a fee to do so. One site,, is different. It does not allow marital therapists to join if they haven’t gone through a process of being checked out regarding credentialing and training. It’s a good place to start.

I wish I could say that in a time of need, you wouldn’t have to struggle with finding the right help. However, with a couple of steps taken, you can get some long strides out of it.

Of course, I also know that many of you feel that you just don’t have the time, energy, or even money to get to the therapist. So to help address you, I’ve created a membership site, In the comfort of your home, for only $9.99/month, you can have access to comprehensive information to bring back the relationship you want. And the best part is that you’ll also have access to me once a month on a call to get your questions answered! Go check it out now at

There is a way to Empower your relationship!