Change Bad Habits to Improve Relationships

At the New Year, all sorts of resolutions are made. Unfortunately, by the end of January most are not kept. The question then becomes, “Why?” The simple answer, of course, is that doing something differently is difficult. However, I also think that for most individuals, your behaviors are ones you learned a very long time ago. So, to make a lasting change, you need to look at the underlying emotional motivation for the particular behavior you do.

Ummm … this probably sounds like a scary ordeal. It doesn’t have to be. However, it does require some self-reflection.

I, myself, used to have difficulty maintaining my weight. I tried numerous diets and shed pounds many times. However, when something upset me, I’d revert to eating; it wasn’t too long before the lost weight returned. It was not until I dealt with what I was really feeling that I was able to deal with my extra pounds in a meaningful way. When I could truly deal with the underlying need, I didn’t have to run for the nearest cookie.

As a relationship expert, I’m addressing this because many of your individual behaviors effect your partnership. As an example, if you drink too much, there are likely to be problems incurred with your mate. Perhaps you act in ways you wouldn’t ordinarily or you lash out at your mate when drunk. You can try to cut down on your alcohol consumption, but the results are likely to be short-term and hard to keep. What you need to do, as I did, is discover what is at the root of your excessive drinking.

I would suggest that most resolutions fail not because of poor intentions but because of emotional roadblocks. So, if you really want to make a change that is truly empowering, look within yourself.

It’s okay to get some help:
1. Speak to your mate openly about the fact that you have a problem.
2. Join with a buddy or group for support who has the same concern.
3. Consult a professional who’s experienced in the area you want to change.

The seemingly unchangeable can be changed – it’s a choice YOU make!